My Story...
Hi I’m Alex and I’m a marine engineer, while working out in the Caribbean in 2006 during some leisure time I went swimming and my whole life changed in an instant... I hit my head on a sand bank and broke my neck. The vertebrae at c5 fractured and c6 broke into three parts one of which damaged my spinal cord, leaving me paralysed from the chest down. More
K9


I wish I had died this day back then, the pain and frustration of the little that is left of me is not worth it. “What if” the saddest two words in this world….

12 years! 

Negative

Somethings are rooted deeply, my mind cannot lay dormant, I need bigger problems in my life… each day I would find my mind fade inwards, to dark dark places within me, the torture of a mind frozen within a body broken, tormented by everything around, actively creating positive from the negativity – like a leach… burn it out! 

Fire can be beautiful in itself, there is good in everything 


Do I push through!

Yesterday was dark inside….. within me withdrawal from drugs I’m hoping, on the 14th I plan to drop… I may give it a little more time, I’ve been guided by my own “light” for a while, but thoughts from last year creeping back through the day.. my light in the distance, I continue… but strength over comfort and control over thought process

Mind control… strength and trust in my strategy, independence is the key to life… freedom to be me

First I need to find me..

Change

It doesn’t come over night, I feel I’m slipping backwards but that only ends one way… 

Only you can change yourself.. no one else will

Pro active improvements but so slow….
Not backwards… 

Not positive first, as all that does is shift the negative… what you need to do is act on the negative to create positive from it then you can move on.. until you remove negativity you will be discouraged, life is hard.. but it makes the few moments of happiness worth it

Baclofen next….

14th December this coming Friday down to 10mg’s, 0/5/5! Then weekly for twice more… 28th December off all pain medication, into the new year alive even if only alive with pain, I will live to be ME!

I will be..

All I’m ment to be, our paths in this world set down before the sands of time started shifting.. all that we are going to be already written, never told before the time is right, our lives are set, our road to walk… it’s the strength within that provides the light that shines the way… the way for each of us, one thing for all, we all must die…. some of us never actually live, to wait on a life of pain, be a victim… in a story set but a story all yours and yours alone, I’m guiding my life in every way I can, but… each time I turn, I find myself back here again…. again wondering why and what for? But then inside my heart beats twice, two times a beat goes on, pulled back from the darkest depth that is… like the strength ignited by a spark in my mind.. from the darkest place you find you cannot stay, I must continue, because as I am… who I am I will not die until I find me, a life driven by pain is me now, I can deal with pain.. but there has to be a “why.. what for?”

Even if me is two bears sitting in a tree.. that will be me!

This is the story, it’s the story of me

My life was written this way, my life written by me

Pro active…

Finished gabapentin soon will go baclofen and then the rest, I will continue, I will go forth onto a future untold, “there are no re-runs..” there is only this! I broke myself, I WILL fix myself, I’m going to live on to see who it is I will be…

I am different, I am me! 

Your life!
Help line

My life, it’s all mind over matter, think about what you want… decide then make that bitch happen, I’m going for my independence then go live in the trees somewhere (not “hippy style” – “ALEX STYLE”)

One with a wheelchair ramp…. as long as independence can be achieved

Mind over matter people 

I won’t need WiFi… just a tin can and some string