i had physio today, again using the treadmill, my legs are very responsive and carry my weight well (although the f%$k£r3 still don’t work!!…. and don’t get me started on my fingers!!!!!!) things are still moving… but slower than a dead snail! i want to quit…. but then.. i’m so tired of sitting about doing f%$K all.. i’m stuck in slow motion in an even slower chair with weak arse arms unable to push me anywhere! but need to stay positive…. something may happen tomorrow.. maybe next month or even “at some point in my life time” (i’d like that point to be 3 days ago…

was the earth born 4.5 billion yrs ago?

or 6000 yrs ago on Oct 14th?

yesterday, i went a little off the rails (again)… i have red bull shots and caffeine gum! i did my arm bike.. this i can normally do only once with the new pad positions.. i did it twice (on the shots and gum) and today it feels like i’ve been hit by a truck, (after doing the bike i was still buzzing so went for a couple of beers) even though i did over-do things a little, i can feel a difference in the strength of my wrists, and this is what is holding me back on the bars.. so not all bad – i’ve taken an easy day today

If.. maybe… could there be a chance?

i will find a way

i will push myself to that point and beyond! i will become all i can be – with every little improvement.. with each movement or sensation that i regain, i am doing what i’ve been told “is impossible”

i don’t need to “believe in what could be..”

i AM the proof! i AM doing it!

IT CAN BE DONE

I WILL  have my independence back!

the other day sitting on the toilet… i hit my knee and the reflex’s made my leg kick out.. in hospital they tested for reflex’s and both legs were dead.. now 3yrs on we have life in them knees – bring it on! my legs will carry me again!

we got a lot of things out of my legs today, in my quads, glutes and through my core there was a lot of activity.. unfortunately (for now) its using external triggers (Steve) to activate things.. but also spinal reflex’s and muscle memory, after the session due to so much input i had terrible nerve pain – but this can be seen as a good thing, meaning my brains “talking” to my legs!  meaning pathways through my injury point – means anything is possible!

i worked on my legs, arms and self transfers today. im working on a resistance on the arm bike of 2.68 – this is a standard through my sessions.. i’m looking at this now instead of miles. Tomorrow i’m on the bars with Steve

today another fine spring day, i’ve been on my arm bike.. this afternoon i’ll be out on the boma, tomorrow legs and arms

my legs got a zapping on the RTI 300 today, tomorrow will be the same with the addition of my arms, following this probably some air.. spring has sprung!

After a few days taking it easier.. from a crazy weekend last week to my catherdar change on Wednesday, yesterday i got up for a shower in the morning but that was all i could take, as my blood pressure was really low from the diazipam the day before.. today i went out with tyler in the boma chair for some fresh air – i’m still pressing on with the self transfers, tomorrow Steve isn’t coming so i will do both my leg and arm bike

Things things things… everything takes so long! tomorrow, the next day, next week, month even next decade! life is as we make it… life is what you make! become all you can be!

write that letter.. send that e-mail… make that call, your only here once – it’s better to regret what you’ve done, rather than what you could have done..

SO BE IT

the thing that i hold onto is that 3yrs ago i could only move my head.. now i am pushing myself to walk – i will have my independence

yes.. most days i do regret going swimming that day – but i wouldn’t be the person that i am today if i hadn’t… AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE AS I AM FOREVER!

do not follow what i did….. follow WHO i am