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My Story...
Hi I’m Alex and I’m a marine engineer, while working out in the Caribbean in 2006 during some leisure time I went swimming and my whole life changed in an instant... I hit my head on a sand bank and broke my neck. The vertebrae at c5 fractured and c6 broke into three parts one of which damaged my spinal cord, leaving me paralysed from the chest down. Is Buying Valium Online Illegal Australia
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Buy Diazepam Ampoules“Victims…. aren’t we all?” Words of Brandon lee (RIP), the crow

A victim of circumstance a situation out of control, this was me.. this I will not be any more, what I survived…. this didn’t kill me.. what I live hasn’t stopped me.. I’m changing things now myself

I survived, now it’s time to live

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1000 Valium CheapGeneric Valium OnlineDecember 14th 2006…

I will not let my life be defined by one day… one mistake, to live a life after this will define strength from within

To a future untold…

A life yet to live

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You truly need to hit the floor….

I was planning my own death, (07/10/2028) living from bowel movement to bowel movement, I’m on a list of medication as long as my arm, sedated and controlled by my “life”
I could take two roads, I still can… but I choose to say “fuck it all!”

How ever I tried I was still in pain.. I was still negative, I had a life that repelled me into myself into loneliness and a world governed by strict rules and routine

If a wavered from this I was usually paid back by my bowels dropping…. a soul destroying negativity surrounding me..

NO LIFE TO LIVE! See dexter out.. and go from this world..

I don’t want to die.. I want to live! I called for help 53 days back, laying dormant I stayed… I can wait I thought, I lay waiting everyday.. then no! each day slips away.. my life that is waiting for me, what where and why I do not know??

The moment you crack feels like a euphoric energy release but you cannot make this happen the suffocation that surrounds me day to day, the torture and pain that is paralysis leading me this way

No more, not ever not again will I return, I will not go back I am on this earth for some reason… December 14th 2006 I was not taken…

I will find why

Two days ago I dropped gabapentin by 300mg slight tingling but no real significant difference in my pain levels or spasticity within my body
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Please note : I am no doctor!! I’m also Not trying to save everything and everyone… I’m just trying to live the hand that life shoved down my throat!

I repeat I am no doctor, I am pursuing my life and what I’m ment to be.. I have taken it on myself to do this… I did seak medical advice but to no avail…

I’m taking it step by step, using my own pain threshold as the key..

The advice I give is always.. always seak medical advice before atempting anything I’ve documented!

If you find strength in my words then this is a bonus.. but I feel I cannot wait for others, I’m doing it myself!

I am not looking to save the world or bring world peace… I am just trying to make something of the life I now live!

Karma I do believe walks with me here, I have this pushing me towards my eventual end, be that what may..

I came off a third of my daily meds! A THIRD! I’ve taken these since the start.. I did not need them and I will continue until I find life within me
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(I’m not daft either… I have researched how others have reduced and replaced meds)

“In the darkest hour, this is when you truly see who you are, this light I will follow, darkness still follow’s but I will continue”

I have looked for and wanted to believe in something over this paralysis… but through looking for something I believe I found myself
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I will be me

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Patience

Simplicity

On the road I’m walking down…. three things compassion for my animals, patience 11 years paralysed teaching me this, simplicity is the next on this journey…

Pain is something that “normal people” cannot comprehend- so much… so many different ways this life brings you pain!

Paralysed is pain… but mind over body, I will find myself from within, I’m in pain but the brain needs to send signals- my medication blocks the signals to minimise this.. I need signals! I’m in pain… let’s bring a little more

I’m bound by another tether through medical boundaries, I’m in the process of eliminating these step by step, today I have moved from 900mg to 600mg of gabapentin, I’m not turning around, down this road I will walk somehow some day… even in death so be it… but along the way I will live… even if all that I am is different types of pain, I will find myself- each day a step forward

– I achieve something pro active by turning the negative into positive

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To live and make decisions on “hear say” is ridiculous, as is “positive waves”

Life is full of negativity – to live with blind sighting this is to live without half your life, pro active is how I look at things, minimise the negative by dealing with this first, don’t just run and hide with your positive.. as these will unravel over time and you will not have anything, you will miss the most precious things, pro active will leave you standing strong,

Move forward.. but be prepared to take a step back too

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Patientce

Simplicity

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talking to my mammy…. “things happen for a reason” came up..

I was born to this world and lived a full life until my accident, extreme highs and lows along the way, then I “bumped” my head and broke my neck then the world around me came tumbling after! From 2006 December 14th to now I’ve survived each day, from pushing physical recovery for eight years then my mind collapsing from within, living the tournament of pain and frustration each day just different types of pain, waking each day to walk my dog, then wait until 5pm to get back on my bed, tortured mentally and physically nothing… i span out of control.. until I “broke” this year, no more I thought, I set a date to work to – 07/10/2028! My day.. I’m controlled by physical restrictions and mentally I found I couldn’t be me! If my life 2028 was as I am I would look to going to Switzerland…

Two roads here to travel..

I don’t want to die! But I do want to live, who I found myself to be wasn’t… me!

I then decided to make drastic changes in the person I had become, baby steps at first, then excel from there..

I will never be more than the man I’m ment to be, but I will find who that is! Not sitting dwelling on “what could of be” “why me” and the two saddest words “what if”

Using everything I am now, who I am today, I will be more than I am, I will find what’s ment to be

What have I done you ask?

To start…

Made the choice (the biggest step)

Called on my care service manager to initiate things “a call for help”

Brought in the doctor to start the process.. weather counciling or antidepressants or both..

Transferring off main stream spinal medication to cbd oil!

I’ve written a book – get it published

Social services assessment to find how I can be a pro-active member of society again, finding a job that fits my ability,current life and stamina instead of a burden and added expense as I found myself to be..

Re home my Predator (from the movie) figure, this was the symbol of my frustration trapped in paralysis! Replaced by Bob Ross, a calming influence on my life

I’ve rearranged my house and getting rid of a lot of things, and (while the weather is cool) using my car to go out of this garden

Getting “bigger problems” so the little things won’t bother me as much

Contact people with my injury near me so I can talk face to face, it’s difficult to appreciate someone through typing in a little white box with my thumb…

Over these years ive learnt so many different types of pain, frustration and patience! Now I need to learn simplicity…

Things DO happen for a reason, and I’m on route to finding my reason I was delt this card in life

I’m going to find the man I’m ment to be.. as who I am isn’t me

(Pro-active not positive all the time, as life is harsh and that is the wrong outlook.. pro-active as this means I fix the negative not ignore it)

So this me now, where I will be next week.. who knows

“We have today, tomorrow hasn’t happened and yesterday’s gone” – a quote from Jozef Kocian

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Solo catheter change done by auntie Pauline! A***

Really well done, love you
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I live today because I survived, tomorrow I will be more than I am today, I will continue to travel the road I have laid ahead of me… direction unknown, destination who knows.. but one day this journey will end.. by then… at that point my life will mean something, December 14th 2006 I was not taken then, the day I go I will have lived the life ment for me

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I’m going to be independent within 10 years

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